On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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