i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
