I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm always down for nudity.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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