i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize