i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
