tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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