Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
