if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
