Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
