SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
