You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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