grandma shit on top of the toilet
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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