I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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