I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he was CRYING into my vagina
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
