i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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