yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
