i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize