dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
