The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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