Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
