She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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