So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i came on her dog
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
