..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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