IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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