When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize