You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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