it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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