Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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