How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
