Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We're too hungover to prance.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize