found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
