i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
