Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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