I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
