theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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