There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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