drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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