I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
