I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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