ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
