I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
