you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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