At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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