i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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