May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
