I don't usually arrange sex via text message
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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