Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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