I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
