i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
