Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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