and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
