i just google imaged poop.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
