i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
