love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
