did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
