in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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