I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
