I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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