I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
