we're blogging at a bar
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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